Fates Parallel Chapter 375 - Suffering

Yan Yue had nearly expected it to feel strange, leading a band of Awakening Dragon cultivators around. She had disowned her sect, after all—betrayed the very people she was now charged with leading. Instead, she fell into the role naturally, her old position in hierarchy fitting like a well-worn glove.

“I’m not going to bother learning your names—you’re now Red and Blue. I know that they are empty, but search thoroughly, and use all of your senses—there may be hidden secrets. Report back to me immediately should you find anything out of the ordinary.”

Snapping one of her fans closed for dramatic effect, she cast rays of colored light connecting her to the two cultivators, each matching their designations.

“If anything goes awry, break this illusion or follow it back to me. Do not try to face any danger alone.”

The pair bowed.

“Yes ma’am!”

Yue casually tossed out a few more colored illusions to mark the nearby huts.

“Off you go, then. Remember, time is of the essence.”

The two ran off to begin their search. It was busywork, of course. Yue doubted there was anything to find, and she doubted even more that either of the slackers under her would be the ones to find it if there was. But keeping the Qin cultivators busy meant keeping them out of trouble.

Not that they’d be much trouble. It was obvious that her former sect had been phoning in the interdisciplinary training—or rather, they probably did the best with the resources they had. They probably also had trouble getting the students to take it seriously—their propaganda of superiority backfiring on them.

She could see now why her father had been so keen to try to bring her back into the fold. Perhaps even why he’d been currying favor with Yoshika. Unified cultivation was here to stay, regardless of the heavens’ attempt to suppress it, but it wasn’t easy to overcome millenia of imperial programming. Even Yue sometimes still fell into the trap of assuming that spiritual techniques were just better.

As Yue finished examining the first of the empty huts, she felt the urgent press of Yoshika’s domain against hers and braced herself for the mental communication.

“Yue, can you hear us?”

“Of course, what’s wrong?”

One benefit of the telepathy they practiced was that it eliminated the need for tone. Yue could sense Yoshika’s concern too vividly. In truth, she still found it a bit overwhelming, but she was getting more accustomed to it.

“Xiao Chong has gone missing. We don’t know whether something happened to her or if she’s up to something, but keep an eye out either way.”

“Thank you for the warning. I’ll be careful.”

“Don’t let your guard down. I’ll probably join you in the search soon, but Ja Yun needs our help first. I wish I could do both, but it’s hard to project my domain in this place. Stay safe!”

Yue sighed as Yoshika withdrew her presence. ‘It’s hard’ she says, as if her monumental feats were just a minor inconvenience. Yue tried to exert her own influence, but her domain refused to budge so much as a millimeter from her skin—completely suppressed by the atmosphere of Chou’s realm.

Would they be more or less confident if they knew just how remarkable they really were? Yue set the thought aside. She wasn’t about to envy her only friends after all they had done for her.

Moving on to the next hut, Yue peered through the doors cautiously, checking the corners as she went. It was as empty and featureless as the rest, but she wasn’t about to leave it at that after telling her subordinate to be so thorough.

Still, her mind wandered as she combed her way through the dirty floors. The demon had run off, or was hiding. Yue had mixed feelings about Xiao Chong. On one hand, Zheng Long was right—she was a liability, and she wasn’t exactly hiding it. Charitability only went so far, and if Bai Lin’s refusal to cooperate had earned her death, then surely Xiao Chong also qualified.

But of course, Yue knew full well that Bai Lin had earned her execution long before setting foot in Chou’s realm. Xiao Chong probably had too, but Yoshika hadn’t been there to see it. That naivety was one of her greatest weaknesses, but it was also part of what made her so endearing.

Yoshika’s mercy was a weakness, but also a strength. Without it, Yue would surely be dead or worse, and Yoshika had just the wrong combination of talent and status to survive without making more friends than enemies.

What to do, then? Did she respect her best friends’ decision and give the demoness the benefit of the doubt, or employ her better judgment to protect them from the inevitable betrayal that it would garner? She had no qualms about making herself the villain, if need be. She’d been hated for far less than protecting the image of a friend.

But while Yue was more than happy to redirect hatred from Yoshika to herself, Yoshika’s hatred wasn’t something she was prepared to bear. Not after all she’d done to earn their friendship in the first place.

That left her in a difficult position, then, when she checked the next hut only to find the woman in question elbow deep in the soul of one of her subordinates.

Xiao Chong looked up at Yue with a sly grin, her fangs and claws still red with the dead man’s blood.

“Well, this is awkward.”

The demon had been clever. Blue’s illusion had been redirected, rather than broken. By all appearances, he was taking his sweet time a few huts over. Xiao Chong had also dragged the dead man back to a hut that he’d already checked. It was only the fact that Yue was checking their work that had caused her discovery.

Yue bit her thumbnail and tried to assess the situation. Xiao Chong was strong, and the souls she’d eaten had undoubtedly made her even stronger. Yoshika made a good show of thwarting her with ease, but Yue knew that fight was more evenly matched than it looked.

A direct confrontation was out. But then, it always had been for Yue. The standard plan, then. Get her talking. Stall. Redirect her away from confrontation and don’t engage until the fight was already won.

Yue put a hand on her hip and sighed.

“Why? You do realize that we’re about to be under siege, right? What could you possibly hope to gain from this?”

Xiao Chong chuckled and shook her head, shrugging helplessly.

“Eh...you know how it is.”

“Pretend that I don’t.”

The demon sighed and stood up, tossing the man’s corpse aside.

“Look, I already know I’m dead, right? I couldn’t even handle a pair of weird lesbians, let alone the rest of you together. But here’s the thing...”

She stared up at the ceiling and grimaced, as if remembering something painful.

“I’ve been dead a long time. I was dead when my sect fell. I was dead when my seniors decided I wasn’t worth the resources to keep alive. I was dead when I became a demon while surrounded by angry cultivators. I was dead the moment I first saw my master. So why should I care? There’s no reward waiting for me at the end of this path. Success or failure, I’ve been a dead woman walking from the beginning.”

Yue frowned.

“It sounds as if you want to die.”

“Tsk, wouldn’t you? But no. I don’t want to die, I’m just resigned to it. And if I’m dead anyway, why bother holding myself back? Why compromise? You have no idea how good it is. Every soul is like the first meal after a month of starvation. Why give that up if I’m just going to die anyway?”

“That’s a poor analogy. Someone that is too severely malnourished would struggle to keep a hearty meal down at all. You have to ease them back into it.”

Xiao Chong blinked.

“What?”

“Going so long without food inflicts trauma—actual physical trauma. The body begins to shut down, trying to conserve energy as much as possible. Rehabilitation is a slow process, and a starved person has to start small before they can work their way back up to a normal appetite again.”

“What in the emperor’s name are you talking about?”

Yue smirked, the look of confusion on Xiao Chong’s face was absolutely precious.

“I happen to be friends with someone who grew up in abject poverty. She knew nothing but suffering for most of her life, and only recently managed to turn things around.”

“Um...okay? And?”

“And that doesn’t sound like you at all. No, you’re more like my other friend, who lived a life of privilege until she experienced her first loss—albeit a grave one. Actually, scratch that—she at least has the good graces to recognize her own failures.”

Honestly, Yue thought it was almost cute how guilty Eui was about her past. Compared to the things Yue had seen and done growing up, she was almost as innocent as Jia. That purity was part of their charm.

Xiao Chong scowled and shook her head.

“I can tell you’re trying to insult me, but I honestly don’t know what you’re on about.”

“Let me spell it out for you, then. You’re a spoiled brat. I have no doubt that you’ve suffered, but so has everyone else. The difference is that you are so privileged that you don’t understand anyone else’s suffering. You think that yours must be the worst there is, because you have nothing to compare it to.”

“Shut up! Fuck you! You don’t know me!”

Yue smiled sadly.

“Oh, but I do. It’s like looking into a mirror. You’re not like Jia or Eui—no. You’re like me. I can see it now, as clear as day. You really do want to die, but you’ll do anything to survive. Because deep down, you know that you don’t deserve death.”

Xiao Chong snarled and lunged forward.

“Shut the fuck up!”

As viciously as she denied it, Yue’s words had struck a nerve. Something in what she said resonated with the demon—and that was all she needed.

Xiao Chong’s claws swiped harmlessly through the illusion, and she took a startled step back as the world around her shifted into an idyllic mountainside settlement, typical of Eastern Qin. Yue hummed her song quietly as the illusory double spoke.

“Was it like this, I wonder? A middle-tier sect, I’m thinking.”

The demon’s already ashen skin went even whiter as she looked out across the scenery.

“No...stop!”

“Common as dirt out there, but even an outer disciple would live a good life.”

Yue populated the town with faceless images. She’d gotten better at her illusions over the years, but in her experience, less was more. People would fill in the details on their own. She snorted in disbelief.

“Is this what I’m supposed to feel sorry for? I hear they’re even quite progressive in the east—was it difficult for you to cultivate as a woman?”

“Shut up! Shut the fuck up! You don’t know anything!”

“No, I didn’t think so. And here you are acting like some victim. The truth, Xiao Chong, is that this is who you always were. Had you been born to power, you’d be a tyrant like me. In the absence of it, you stewed in self-loathing and blamed the rest of the world for your shortcomings—like me. Given the opportunity, you happily abuse your power, taking any excuse to gloat over those who are weaker.”

Xiao Chong gritted her teeth.

“Is this the part where you tell me that you were able to change, so I can too? Fuck off.”

Yue snorted.

“We’re here, aren’t we? You at my mercy while I gloat over you, helpless. No—people don’t change who they are. But I do believe we can change what it means to be ourselves.”

“The fuck is that supposed to mean?”

“You’ll have to figure that part out yourself, I’m afraid.”

The demon rolled her eyes.

“Would you stop with the proselytizing and just kill me already? You’re even worse than that Yoshika bitch.”

“Against my better judgment, no. You don’t deserve death. Of course, the decision isn’t mine, ultimately, but for now...we’ll see what ‘that Yoshika bitch’ decides to do with you.”